How To Disciple Gossip About/Within Leadership

It's an unfortunate fact that we are all human. Every staff member, pastor, leader, and volunteer is in fact, human. Bummer, I know.

So what happens when one of these humans makes a mess? Well, it isn't a fun time. Much like when a baby pukes on your shirt just as you walk into a church or the dog pees in the back seat of the car right after a pit stop, there is never a convenient moment to pick up a mess.
 
Let's start with step 1: Stop The Leak
As soon as you hear an accusation or a rumor immediately follow the Matt Chapter 18 steps. Go straight to the person involved. Give an open opportunity for them to talk more than you interrogate.

Step 2: Clean Up The Spilled Milk
Everyone wants to skip this part. They think because they talked to the source and got a straight answer that is all they need to do. Wrong. You still have a mess on the church floor and if you leave it alone it will sour and the smell will spread. If the spill was small, pull just those people aside. Inform the group of the steps you took and the accountability in place. This should kill any ideas that there is still a lingering issue unresolved. This also puts a precursor that proactive awareness is in place for accountability.

Step 3; Air Out The Room
If that spill was larger than you thought it's time to air out the room. If you don't people leave because something stinks and that's a whole new hemorrhage. That kind of hemorrhage bleeds out attendance, trust, financial contributions, and disengagement. That is a hemorrhage no one likes to get to. We don't have to get into details but an airing may sound like this.
Let's say the accusation is that two people on a worship team are spending a little more time together than seems appropriate for married individuals. Stopping the leak, Intels you speak to those two people about the concerns and perception regardless of the innocence of the situation. Clean up, looks like talking to the worship team and setting new boundaries. Airing a room looks like informing all staff and volunteers of new boundaries:

"As of today, we are going to implement our new campus policy. We ask that no volunteer or staff work together in a room without a third person present. We ask doors stay open at all times, especially in terms of meeting with the opposite sex. We are going to set times for each ministry to meet on campus so that there are no early morning meetings or late night meetings that are not deliberately on the calendar and approved. This is just a safety protocol I believe will help us all with any accountability or perception issues. Anything outside of the new procedures needs to get reported directly to Tom do not speak to any other staff about personal perceptions until we have done an internal and biblically guided review of what is being reported."

Step 4: Rip Out The Carpet
We get it sometimes people make BIG messes that can't be wiped up. After 1-3 has been implemented we move to 4. Some people think they can fire someone and just move on. Let me tell you, people LOVE to chat about the staff drama. Make sure you address any big allegations. Let's use the example above only let's say it wasn't that innocent. There was an affair, everyone knows and they are still coming to church. You may not want to call out people by name and no one is asking you to. What you do have to do is inform the church of new procedures that have been put in place for accountability. This lets people know you are more than ripping out the carpet. This lets them know you are trying to create an environment where this doesn't occur in the future on church grounds. You can't control someone else's pet on their property but you can build fences that keep them off yours. It's not bulletproof but it gives the perception of effort and sometimes that is all people need to feel safe.

When we say nothing it's like standing in a parking lot and hearing shots fired. You don't know where they came from, where you are supposed to go, and if they will go off again. However, if one person comes along, grabs your hand, and says come in here then locks the door, it may not remove the threat but they feel safer knowing you're trying to protect them.
 
1 Timothy 3:7 1 Tim 4:14
1 Tim 3
1 Tim 5:18-22
1 Tim 5:24-25

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