How To Crisis Manage Through Sexual Abuse In The Church

There is nothing more heartbreaking than a crime of such occurring within a church. Nevertheless, we can't control humans. We can set the stage for success but we can't always protect against those who violate their oath to God.
It would be better to be thrown into the sea with a millstone hung around your neck than to cause one of these little ones to fall into sin.
Luke 17:2
It is even harder for me to think of how many people have been scared away from the church as a whole with the belief that the church can be an unsafe or toxic environment. Though this podcast is not a "how to" get those people back, it is a podcast on how we should approach hard realities. Our goal is always to train people more effectively to help heal not hurt already hurt people.
Here is my breakdown of how a Church should respond when such things occur in its own church.
If you are reading this and you have been hurt within a church, I want to encourage you that
1. Humans will always fail humans
2. There is a higher accountability for those in leadership and God will never let something not come to light that was done in the dark (I Cor 4:5)
3. I encourage you to search for healing. Christ has never abandoned you, just people (Matt 7:7)
You can visit my episode on Sexual Abuse, you can click on "share your story" to help us learn more about how we can learn from your experience, or you can engage in a consultation for advice on the next steps you may need to take through your time of crisis. You can find it all right here at madetowalk.org

Churches: I beg of you to watch, adapt and adopt. Please do everything in your power to restrain the want to resist, deflect and defend. Only good things can come from hearing new ways to keep others safe through tough trials. You are not alone and we would love to help you put those efforts in place. Feel free to visit "consultation" for an analysis of your current church crisis management plan. Learn more about Strategy, Emergency, and Tactical options at madetowalk.org

The process of abuse crisis management:

1. Comply with law enforcement at every turn
2. Implement empathy. Legally you will be encouraged to not admit any wrongdoing which includes an apology. You can still communicate empathy while following the restriction of the legality of the issues at hand. Using language that includes "no matter what is about to occur we are here to support healing." Your goal must be to preserve the victim, be accessible to the family, and implement the stages I have shared before in my category of church rumors.
3. Show others how to heal. There will be a lot of chatter however all can be managed with public statements from the church. Most churches would prefer not to make a statement, to attempt to conceal an issue or hope it will pass. These are all false hopes. When we can teach others how to love someone who is hurting, more good can be done. You must communicate at every turn how the church as a whole can support each other through difficult times. As mentioned in my article on sexual abuse, your job is not to bring restoration or healing. Your job is to be the support while God heals. In Luke Chapter 5, we see the right way to heal a person. The men lowered the paralyzed man down to Jesus. They knew they just needed to get him to Jesus. We can oftentimes think of ourselves as too important, that it is always our job to heal someone of a painful situation however; it is our job to go to great lengths to support someone in getting to Jesus.
4. Self-preservation is inevitable, restrain it. It is natural to want to protect the church. It is natural to want to protect yourself or your family. The problem is self-preservation involves emotional decision-making. It is highly unlikely you will make a good decision in a state of self-preservation. You may think it is smart in the moment but it will always come back to bite you. Love even when the family is angry, disheartened, disappointed, afraid, or confused. Let God be your advocate if the result is ignorance. Let God rebuild and strengthen you when the result is neglect. We won't always get it right but we are never without fault. We can always learn and grow.
5. Implement. Even when you think you had everything in place to protect others from wrongdoing things can happen. It isn't an excuse to say "We did what we could." You must analyze, assess and implement new ways to protect others. It is easy to say we need new liability waivers or new ways to protect the church but what can you say has been implemented in protecting others? Those proactive thoughts can truly be the difference.

Proactive steps you can take:

1. Backgrounds check. On all who participate in the church not just in children's ministry.
2. Errors and Ommissions Insurance. Have a form of protection before an incident.
3. Liability waivers. These should include the transmission of Covid and other illnesses. This does not protect you against criminal occurrences.
4. Post written boundaries in public areas. This should include no bathroom trips alone with a minor, no counsel sessions with the same sex in a closed-door environment, a public schedule of appointments, no rides without a third party present, no substance usage while in a motorized vehicle including pain medication, etc.
5. Hold Crisis Training. This is vital for all leadership and volunteers to attend once a year BEFORE joining a team. This should cover things such as what to do in an active shooter situation, where are the tornado/earthquake safety measures, who do they report abuse signs including severe bruising on a child, how to manage bullying, where are the fire extinguishers, etc. Have each person on record as to having completed training. 
6. Communication Access. Make sure you have a line or email open to anonymous tips, questions, concerns, or safety recommendations.
7. Response Team. You should always have a least two staff members both male and female who are trained in crisis response. These may be certified counselors, law enforcement, attorneys, former prosecutors, etc. The goal is to help respond and navigate. The goal is NEVER to investigate and/or interrogate. This team member(s) should have crisis training that might help a person/family navigate what to expect next. These members are there to comfort and educate the person/family during a crisis and assist in communicating the needs of the family to the administration/congregation. This person can assist in everything from being a court liaison, there to supporting the family, or a meal train manager. The level of involvement is at the discretion of the family but always make them available and be constantly present. No one wants to go through the scariest parts of their life alone. 

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